week at our new time slot at 11:35. it was scary, it was exciting. it was a lot like the week i lost my virginity, except this week i didn't cry. [ laughter ] i have to admit, i don't usually like to toot my own -- is it horn or hose? [ laughter ] there were a lot of exciting developments this week. maybe the most exciting development of all, thank you very much, i made the cover of "time" magazine. [ cheers and applause ] there i am. if you'd like, if i had a pen, i would sign this for you. oh, thank you very much. there you go. and that's for you, young man. enjoy. all right. we have a nice show for you tonight. second night of music with bruno mars. [ cheers and applause ] he's got a number one song. he's going to do a new version of "locked out of heaven"

tonight. in this version, he finds his keys. he gets right into heaven. [ laughter ] tonight a very bright and interesting man by the name of george lois is with us. he's an ad man. he's the guy that came up with a lot of things. he came up with the slogan "i want my mtv", he came up with that. his book is called "damn good advice." we'll also visit with sofia vergara. sofia is here to promote her show "modern family." i think. she's very difficult to understand. where is guillermo? is he back there? right now our parking lot security guard guillermo is in sofia's dressing room and i'm told they're playing strip poker right now. how is it going, sofia? >> see for yourself. >> jimmy: oh! guillermo, how's it going for you? >> not so good, jimmy. i lost my shoe. >> jimmy: okay, all right. i'm very sorry to hear that for

a lot of reasons, really. guillermo, do you think sofia is beautiful? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you think she's more or less beautiful than your wife? [ laughter ] >> more. >> jimmy: okay. you'd better unplug the tivo when you get home. it was cold here in hollywood today. we're having what they call a cold snap. it's so called, i had to wear two tank tops to work today. the high today was 55 degrees. can you imagine? everyone is freaking out. last night, the local news here in l.a. -- the local news in l.a. is hilarious. we really had no idea how silly we would look if places like milwaukee saw how we would react. for the past 24 hours, this is the thing they've been saying in our local weather reports. >> are you ready for probably two of the coldest nights you've ever experienced in southern

california? >> look at the temperatures. only in the 50s. >> cold coming our way. >> beyond cold. >> i forgot his jacket. i was like i have to go home? >> we have team coverage on this freezing cold weather. >> it's about 48 degrees right now. the skies are clear. it is cold. >> i'm absolutely freezing. >> soccer practice tonight meant sweats, gloves and ear muffs. >> how long is this going to last? >> it's so cold out there. the extra blanket, the heater, the dog, anything you can do to keep warm. >> how long will this arctic blast last? >> so please, if you would, say a little prayer for us. we're suffering here. [ laughter ] [ applause ] meanwhile, winter storm gandalf is making its way across the country. the weather channel recently started giving names to winter storms. this one they're calling gandalf, because like the character from "the lord of the rings," it brings freezing temperatures. also because meteorologists are

huge nerds. [ laughter ] i think they should give the storms not only -- i think they should give them first, middle, and last names. that way you can really -- gandalf florence greenberg, you stop destroying houses right now! [ applause ] oh, thank you. it's flu season, and this is a particularly bad flu season. the centers for disease control prevention announced a flu has officially reached epidemic status. epidemics are rarely good. you rarely hear about balloon epidemics. they're bad things. and the flu is spread when people gather in groups like at work. doctors say the best way to prevent it is to stay home if you're not feeling well. but for some reason, people don't do that. it's a tough thing to do for a lot of people. so the cdc put together this public service announcement in the hope that spreading awareness will cut down on spreading a virus. take a look. >> aw, i'm sorry you got sick. >> you don't look good. >> you seem sweaty.

>> and pale. >> i know you don't want to miss work. >> but you don't really work. >> did you touch my mouse? >> can you please stop sneezing on the bagels? >> you should go home. >> seriously. you should go home. >> wait, was this your coffee cup? >> did you touch my phone? >> did you touch my face? >> go home. >> you should go home. >> why are you still here? >> okay, back away. easy does it. >> get on out of here! go home, go! >> take your sick ass and go home! >> go the hell home! >> paid for by common human decency. >> you [ bleep ]. [ applause ] >> jimmy: are any of you familiar with the lingerie football league? don't pretend you aren't because your wife is sitting next to

you. it's a football league in which all the players are women and all of them wear lingerie. it was started in 2009 by a guy named mitch. that's mitch right there. he looks exactly as you would imagine the founder of the lingerie football league would look. yesterday, mitch said he thinks the sexual branding and skimpy outfits are hurting the lingerie football league's credible, so he's changing the league name to the legends football league. and instead of this, the players from now on will wear uniforms like this. you see? it's much more credible. i saw this picture online today and the woman in the middle -- am i nuts or is she a dead ringer for troy polamalu of the pittsburgh steelers? they could be twins. [ applause ] so anyway, a lingerie football league is about to get an injection of class. meanwhile, the puppy bowl announced they're really pl planning to slut it up next year.

our huge state budget deficit is gone. jerry brown announced the state budget for next year is projected to net an $851 million surplus and this year we'll have a surplus of $785 million. you hear that, meter maids? maybe you can stop giving us tickets for a couple months. [ applause ] it's a big deal, because california was $25 billion in debt. $25 billion in debt two years ago and now we'll be a billion and a half in the black. it's a huge achievement for governor jerry brown. apparently you can get a lot done when you're not walking around saying "i'll be back" all the time. [ applause ] justin bieber is being sued by a former bodyguard. the bodyguard's lawsuit claims justin punched him repeatedly in the chest. he's seeking $420,000. i think i would pay $420,000 to keep the fact that i got beat up by justin bieber a secret. [ laughter ]

britney spears announced today she will not return today as a judge on the x-factor next season. she said she wants to spend more time walking barefoot into gas station restrooms. in a statement today, britney said i had an incredible time doing the show. i love the other judges and i'm so proud of my teams, but it's time for me to get back in the studio. [ laughter ] you know it's a recording studio, right? i think britney was too well behaved for simon cowell. i think he was hoping for crazy britney with the umbrella. you know, he really hasn't been able to fill that crazy female judge slot that paula abdul left behind. that's a tough one to fill. you need to find someone who's a star but is also insane. what i think they should do is ask gary busey to get a sex change operation, hire him. or her, whatever it may be. [ applause ] this is a great clip. this is from a basketball game in frederick, maryland. a church league. pay attention to this. it is one of the most amazing

buzzer beaters this reporter has ever seen. >> yeah! >> jimmy: that's good, right? the kid's name is matt, he's in the ninth grade. we tracked matt down today and he is standing by. first we're going to take a break. it's possible he has magic powers, so we should watch this. matt will be here. sofia vergara will be here. author george lois will be with us. bruno mars. and this week in unnecessary censorship when we come back. we'll be right back. ♪ [ male announcer ] start by making an award winning car. now imagine the worst case scenario. worse than that. [ woman screaming ] worse. that bad. [ lasers ] so now we need airbags. more airbags. perfect.

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>> jimmy: tonight on the show, sofia vergara, author george lois, and bruno mars is on the way. before the break, i showed you a clip of a ninth grader, a young

man named matt demember who made an amazing last-second shot in a church basketball game. they pass him the ball, you can see him here. and he just chucks it backwards over his head, makes the shot. and goes nuts. right now, matt is with us live via skype from maryland. hello, matt, how you doing? [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining us. how did you do that? >> i don't know, i just kind of chucked it up and it was luck. >> jimmy: i should ask why did you do that? did someone teach you that shot? >> uh -- bucky erickson shot me that shot. and i just saw that our time was running out and i got the ball and i just didn't have time to turn around, so i threw it up. and i was very surprised. [ applause ] >> jimmy: when you threw the ball up, did you think it had any chance of going in?

>> not at first. but then when i turned around, i saw that it was going in and i just started going crazy. >> jimmy: did you guys win the game on that shot? >> no, we ended up still losing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is this the coolest thing that's ever happened to you? >> yes. >> jimmy: what did your friends say after you made the shot? >> all my friends were, like, impressed and they couldn't believe that i made it. when i go around school, people are giving me high fives. >> jimmy: are the girls in school throwing themselves at you now? >> a little bit. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: those are the fringe benefits. you know, just be careful. you don't want a series of paternity tests. how many times have you watched that clip? >> a lot. >> jimmy: that could be your signature move. you know, kareem had the sky hook. you have the behind-the-back granny shot. that's your thing.

are you a good student in school? >> yeah, i got straight as last term. >> jimmy: nice. [ applause ] >> will you go to college or just go right directly into the nba? >> i'm planning on going to college. >> jimmy: i think you should just retire from basketball right now and go out on top because this is about as good as it's going to get. you finished number one on the espn countdown last night. was that exciting? >> yeah. i was actually asleep when my sister and my mom came into my room and told me i was going to be on espn. and i started running around the house. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: have you picked up any endorsement deals as a result of this? >> not yet. >> jimmy: and are you dealing with haters? any jealousy? >> not really. >> jimmy: good, good. don't let the haters hate. you don't want to do that. would you rather have made that shot or won the game? >> made the shot.

>> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] that's honesty. honesty is more important than sportsmanship. i tell you what, your parents should never make you do chores ever, ever again. thanks for taking time to talk to us and congratulations. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice kid. don't forget, on saturday night here on abc, the miss america pageant. the miss america pageant is one of my favorite pageants. it's a beautiful event. chris harrison from "the bachelor" is hosting. miss america is basically "the bachelor" without a bachelor in it. the competition is divided into five categories. talent, swimsuit, personal interview, evening gown, and boobs. [ laughter ] and the winner, the woman who is crowned miss america, will receive a college scholarship, and unfortunately, she will also owe miss china $6 trillion. we wish her well. here's an interesting -- this is a study conducted at the

university of massachusetts. they studied how long people would wait for an online video to load before they gave up and clicked away. what they found is that people will wait for up to two seconds. [ laughter ] and after that, they go away. we don't have time to wait for videos of cats wearing sunglasses. we have other videos of cats wearing sunglasses to watch. the studies show that 25% of people with high speed internet will give up after a video has been loading for five seconds. 50% give up after ten seconds. when we want to see a dog humping a hippety hop, we want to see it now. it's funny that the people who won't wait three seconds for a video to load are the same people who will wait outside the apple store for a week to get the new ipad. [ cheers and applause ] that's what makes this the greatest generation. one more thing, our first week at 11:35 has come to an end. it means it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether

they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." enjoy. >> he is going to have to get right down to business negotiating a very, very [ bleep ] deal. >> i would love to take you home and [ bleep ] you and have you meet my family. >> when you say the words free [ bleep ] job, guess what happens. >> you've been hearing cholesterol, and it always comes back to eggs. >> can i blow your [ bleep ]? >> we have coverage on this [ bleep ] cold weather. >> the practice known as stop and [ bleep ] is no longer allowed in parts of bronx chg. >> when you tested for them in 2005, you discovered that -- >> all six were [ bleep ] positive. >> we're doing a story about how [ bleep ] are getting longer and longer and longer. do you feel that way? >> i have no clue. >> ultimately, it's your butt that's the ultimate judge. >> say hello to terrell owens. >> did i misunderstand you and your answer to the complaint? you said something about how he

[ bleep ] your mother? >> yes, he [ bleep ] my mother. >> check out this [ bleep ] from sky 9 and the blimp. fantastic [ bleep ]. really nice stuff. >> i've always wanted to [ bleep ] a money taken gorilla. do you want to [ bleep ] gorillas? >> jimmy: on the show tonight, music from bruno mars. we'll be right back with sofia vergara. so stick around. i'm jessica and this is my emergen-c.

keeping up with the kids is tough, so i drink emergen-c. with vitamin c for immune support and b vitamins for natural energy, i'm ready for whatever they get into. get your free sample at myemergenc.com. stay healthy and feel the good.

>> jimmy: tonight on the program, one of the great minds in the history of advertising.

his book is called "damn good advice." george lois is here. and then back for a second night -- his album is called "unorthodox jukebox." bruno mars from the bud light outdoor stage. bruno has had the number one song in the country for five weeks straight, and he's doing a new version of that song for us tonight. we've got a strong line-up for you next week, including ellen degeneres, mark wahlberg, ray romano, rob lowe, "the bachelor," amy brenneman, our friend "science bob" pflugfelder will be here and we'll have music from big boi, phillip phillips and onerepublic. our first guest is an emmy and golden globe-nominated actress who this sunday has a very good chance of becoming a golden globe-winning actress. she plays gloria who is currently embarazada on the great show "modern family." watch it wednesday nights on abc. please say hello to sofia vergara.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing? buenos noches. >> that was good spanish. >> jimmy: it's some of the little spanish i know. albandigas. >> albandigas. >> jimmy: i'm sorry, i don't speak espanol. >> i know. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. >> thank you. i haven't been here in a long time. >> jimmy: i'd like you to come every week, if you could. please do. it's always fun for you to be here. >> i got a little out of guillermo, so i like it.

>> jimmy: how much did you get out of guillermo? he's like a piggy bank. >> i warned him. latin men, they're very stubborn. i told him. >> jimmy: i think he'd do pretty much anything you want. >> did you see how he ended up? >> jimmy: i did see how he ended up. he ends up like that every night in my dressing room, too. >> you want to play too? [ applause ] >> jimmy: you're nominated for a golden globe. congratulations. that's this weekend. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you were nominated for an emmy. how many members of your family did you bring to the emmys with you? >> oh, like 21. >> jimmy: 21. >> that was a lot of fun for me because at the emmys you can actually buy tickets for the whole awards show, so they can really enjoy being there, seeing the movie stars. it's amazing. golden globes, it's very difficult. >> jimmy: and you guys have a lot of fun. i had a party after the emmys and you brought your family and you guys at the end were the only ones left. my girlfriend is like they're still here, we should stay. i was like i have to go home!

>> i didn't know it was your party. >> jimmy: because i went home. >> we had a great time. the food was great. >> jimmy: i'm glad someone had fun. >> the music, everything. >> jimmy: julie bowen was here, she was talking about your birthday party that you had. >> yeah, my 40th birthday. >> jimmy: in mexico. and she said it was just crazy. it was just like nothing but tequila and tortilla chips. [ laughter ] >> well, what do you do? it was a party. it was a celebration of my first 40 years. so i brought 100-something of my family to mexico and julie and the cast, and they were in shock. i mean, for me, it's normal to see for five, six days people dancing, drinking going crazy. but for them, it was like how can they keep -- and people in their 60s, 70 years old.

i mean, all ages. >> jimmy: your whole family will party. >> it wasn't my whole family. it was the favorites. >> jimmy: you narrowed it down to the top 100? >> the top 100, yeah. >> jimmy: and they're always like that. like at thanksgiving, will it be like that? >> everything is a party. the first time i was with my fiance, with my boyfriend, i said i'm going to plan a little thanksgiving party in miami. let's go rent a house over there. my family is there. he's like yeah, perfect. go ahead. we'll do everything. and he's like, if it's okay, can i bring two people, two of my close friends? i'm like of course you can bring two people. he had not realized it was for 65 people, the dinner. he's like, that's thanksgiving? you bring 65 people to a dinner? he thought it was like seven or eight people. >> jimmy: how many will you have at your wedding? >> i don't know. that's why i haven't planned

anything. because it's very difficult. >> jimmy: you better elope or something. >> i know. i'm thinking that because it's going to be too much preparation and i have too much work. >> jimmy: it's going to cost like $100 million to get married. >> at least. >> jimmy: you tweeted this photograph. this is you when you were a little girl at carnival. >> i'm this one, i'm this one. >> jimmy: you're the one dressed like a cracker jack box. [ laughter ] who is this little girl? >> it's my cousin rosa marina. >> jimmy: was she at the party? >> of course, she was at the party with her husband. >> jimmy: a baby has a husband? how does that work? [ laughter ] things are really different in colombia. >> it was amazing. that was a special time. we were trained to party like that. in carnival, it's four days of nonstop party, eating, having fun, nobody works. it's at the same time that the carnival of brazil happens.

it's amazing. you should go. i don't think you have what it takes. >> jimmy: you're right. i don't have what it takes. i don't have any of what it takes. we're going to take a quick break. sofia vergara is here. we'll be right back. before taking abilify, an antidepressant alone helped me get out from under. but sometimes...depression still dragged me down. i'd been feeling stuck for a long time. so my doctor added abilify to my antidepressant. she said some people had symptom improvement as early as 1 to 2 weeks. now i feel more in control of my depression. [ female announcer ] abilify is not for everyone. call your doctor if your depression worsens or you have unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens, and young adults. elderly dementia patients taking abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor if you have high fever, stiff muscles, and confusion to address a possible life-threatening condition. or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these could become permanent. high blood sugar has been reported with abilify and medicines like it and in extreme cases can lead to coma or death.

other risks include increased cholesterol, weight gain, decreases in white blood cells, which can be serious, dizziness on standing, seizures, trouble swallowing, and impaired judgment or motor skills. depression was always hanging over me. then my doctor added abilify to my antidepressant. now i feel better. [ female announcer ] if you're still struggling with depression talk to your doctor to see if the option of adding abilify is right for you. and be sure to ask about the free trial offer. the freshenator. the buddy system. the do si go. the two-handed tango. el cleaño. [ female announcer ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher than the cottonelle care routine. try it. then name it. ♪

[ male announcer ] let's take every drop of courage, every ounce of inspiration, every bit of determination, and go where we've never gone before. ♪ introducing the radically new avalon. toyota. let's go places. introducing the radically new avalon. she said, "i haven't done my taxes for a few years." call.

what's a few? she said, "i think it's eight." she showed up with four file boxes of paperwork. "here, take my stuff and figure it out." i will do that for you. it's a mental challenge. it's a puzzle. but getting you the maximum refund- that's what i'm here for. bring it on.

what do you mean surprise surprise? i've got to go, you take care. >> i've got to find the parking ticket. >> it's fine. >> what does it mean? >> how would you get out of this situation? >> hey, pal, my housekeeper forgot her ticket. >> you're going to need to go up to the third level and find the pay station. >> you can't just let us go? i know i put that somewhere here but i cannot find it now.

>> pay station, third level. >> maybe you can let us go now and then next time i do you two times? >> the only way you're going to get out is to go back to the pay station. >> actually, there is another way. >> there you go. >> jimmy: i've done that. that's sofia vergara on wednesdays, "modern family." by the way, i watched "modern family" this weekend, it was very funny, and your character did not know who billy dee williams was. do you know who that is? >> of course, what do you think, i come from the jungle? i know. i know him from "star wars." he was very handsome. >> jimmy: okay, all right, just checking. i want to see what's going on there. your son has been making videos starring you and putting them on youtube. >> taking advantage of me is more what you want to say. >> jimmy: is that right? would you describe it as that? >> at the beginning when he brought the idea to me to do this with my company, i said

yeah, perfect, of course i want to support my son. and the only thing i asked him, you can use all the material and you can follow me wherever you want. but the only thing i asked is, you know, just show it to me before you air it. just one little showing when it's done. you can even send it to my phone. anything. never happened. in none of the episodes. there was always an explanation, an excuse. so because at the end of the day, after he had aired it, what was i going to do? >> jimmy: you can put him in time-out. tell him that the next celebration, he can only party for three days instead of four in a row. >> that's what i'm going to do. [ applause ] >> jimmy: the golden globes this week, do you have a speech prepared? >> no, i'm very excited. i'm so happy to be there, just to be invited to that event. i never dreamed in my life. and so many things have happened to me since "modern family."

i'm also airing that day my third commercial with pepsi, which is for me -- >> jimmy: during the show? >> during the golden globes. so i'm very excited. life couldn't be better. >> jimmy: well, congratulations on the golden globes. i hope you beat the hell out of that guy. sofia vergara, everyone. "modern family," wednesday nights 9:00 on abc. we'll be right back with george lois. after working on the computer all day, you'd think i want to stay away from it at night. truth is, i like to stay connected with friends. but all that screen time can really dry me out. so i use visine. aah. it revives me, so i can get poked, winked, and -- ooh -- party all night long. only visine has hydroblend -- a unique blend of three moisturizers that soothe, restore, and protect to keep me comfortable for up to 10 hours.

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>> jimmy: the nfl playoffs are in full force. it will be a big weekend of sitting on the couch watching television. and so what better time to chat with a man who has won it all? former coach of the dallas cowboys, jimmy johnson, sits in for three ridiculous questions.

>> jimmy: so i've got three questions for you. do you loofa? >> what's loofa? >> jimmy: you know, the spongy thing. i think it comes from the sea and you use it in the shower, you scrub up with it. >> no. >> jimmy: you don't? >> no. >> jimmy: would you rather have a bear in your attic or a squirrel in your pants? >> bear in the attic. >> jimmy: why? >> i don't want anything in my pants that's not natural. >> jimmy: squirrels are natural. >> a squirrel can bite. >> jimmy: but only nuts. [ laughter ] can i taste your hair? >> yeah. >> jimmy: not bad. not bad at all.

to jimmys. >> cheers. i did loofa one time. >> jimmy: did you like it? >> no, i didn't like it. it scratched my skin. >> jimmy: i knew it. so when it comes to taxes, we're here to help you. that's why we have cpas, enrolled agents, and tax attorneys to answer your questions-- helping you get deductions for uniforms, union dues, and even the miles you drive for a job interview. you deserve to keep more of your hard-earned money. and we're here to help make that happen. turbotax-- the power to keep what's yours. try it free at turbotax.com. . . [ bells jingle ] [ cash register dings ] [ male announcer ] wow. a brave choice.

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advertising and design, our next guest has helped to popularize everything from mtv and "usa today" to tommy hilfiger and aunt jemima. he shares his brilliant and very funny insights in this book

called "damn good advice." please welcome george lois. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] welcome. well, i'm happy you're here. i actually asked them to book you because i got your book and then i bought about 20 copies of it and just started handing it out to my friends because i think there is some damn good advice in this book, and it's very funny, too, and impressive. when you started, you became very big and popular during the -- people call you the original don draper. but you don't care for that. >> not really, because don draper -- the "mad men," they were anti-semimites, they were racist, womanizers. they were drunks. but worst of all, they had no talent.

i've got talent. >> jimmy: you sure do. "i want my mtv" is a slogan that you came up with. how did that happen? >> well, it's hard for people today to understand, but mtv when it first started in 1982 was a dog. i mean, they were in production for a year with no cable operator playing them. >> jimmy: right. >> they asked me to come in to see if i could help. i said i think i can save you. what would you do? well, first thing i would do is take the mtv logo and i would make it come to life by putting like a rolling stone logo in it. >> jimmy: and you did. >> and at the end of the commercial, the voice would say if you don't get mtv where you live, pick up the phone, take your local cable operator, and at that point, have somebody like mick jagger pick up the phone and say i want my mtv. >> jimmy: how do you get mick

jagger to go along with this plan? >> they all laughed at me because they said george, you don't understand. schmuck. nobody in the business wants any part of mtv. they think mtv is going to destroy the business. you couldn't get a rock star in a million years. i knew bill graham -- >> jimmy: concert promoter. >> so i called him up on the west coast. i explained. he said no, no, it's not going to be good for business. i screamed at him, said okay, who do you want? i said i'd love to get mick jagger. just to stick it up their -- >> jimmy: right. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> so he said okay, i'll give you his phone number, but you can't tell him i gave you the phone number. and i'm selling like nothing. i say mickey, you there?

he says okay, i'll be in new york monday morning. where do you want me? >> jimmy: wow. [ applause ] >> but i told them at mtv and they said nonsense. i was so excited. i think i kissed his big fat lips. [ laughter ] and then at that point, he says oh george, by the way, i brought a couple of other people you might want to use. it was peter townsend and pat ben t benitar. >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> to me, he's the patron saint of mtv. >> jimmy: so he's responsible for "jersey shore." mick jagger is responsible. >> not really. so what happened, cut to commercial and we ran three commercials in san francisco, 10:00 at night, 11, 12. the cable operator calls the

head of mtv in new york at 8:30 in the morning and he says, pittman, get that [ bleep ] commercial off the air! and he says i'll take it off right away. by the way, pittman, i'll take it. you'll take what? i'll take mtv. why? because i'm getting millions of phone calls. >> jimmy: you know, let me ask, you say you never learned from a mistake. how is that possible? >> well, anybody in the world -- everybody in the world says you learn from mistakes. i say if you're a creative person and you make a mistake, forget about it. >> jimmy: forget about it. you said don't listen to music when trying to come up with ideas. >> it's impossible. if you love music, how can you think about something else? >> jimmy: i got you. you said there's a story about how you had a difficult client that sold mozza. you would just not take no for an answer. >> i was a young man. i went to an agency in burbank,

the only creative agency in the world, i was still in my 20s. i realized -- i was there a week and i was told that art directors weren't allowed to talk to clients. i said that's impossible. so i did a poster, and george schneider -- it said kosher for passover. gigantic poster from subway. and the account guy comes back that day and says they didn't like it. i said what do you mean? he didn't like it. do another one. no, bill, you got to do me a favor. you got to get me to talk to the client. and he gulped. he was a little embarrassed. he said okay. i jump on the train to go to long island city and i get there. mr. goodman is like a 95-year-old. old testament. i go there and he has a glass room. and in the room is his whole

family. sons, daughters, grandchildren. everybody in the family. i sit down, i stand up and i open a poster and he said i don't like it. before i said a word. and i'm selling it, selling my ass off. people are saying gee, grandfather, i think it's very good. i think it's exciting. i don't like it. i think it's exciting. i don't like it. i don't know what to do with this guy. so i see a window and i start walking towards it. and he says you're going somewhere? and go to the window, i open the window, and i hold on to the metal, and i stick my -- i'm sitting there and i say you make the mozza, i'll make the ads. he says come in! he almost had a heart attack. >> jimmy: you threatened to jump

out the window? >> no really, he almost had a heart attack. his grandson is holding his tongue, his heart was beating hard. at that point, i thanked him for the way he treated my work. i started to walk to the door. he said young man, if you ever quit advertising, i'll give you a job as a mozza salesman. >> jimmy: that is the book. it's called "damn good advice" for people with talent. george lois, everyone. we'll be right back with bruno mars.

>> jimmy: his album, "unorthodox jukebox," is out now. this song is called "locked out of heaven." please welcome bruno mars!

♪ oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ never had much faith in love or miracles ♪ ♪ never wanna put my heart on the line ♪ ♪ but swimming in your world is something spiritual i'm born again every time you spend the night ♪ ♪ 'cause your sex takes me to paradise yeah your sex takes me to paradise ♪ ♪ and it shows ooh oh ooh oh ooh yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ 'cause you make me feel like i've been locked out of heaven for too long ♪ ♪ for too long ♪ yeah you make me feel like i've been locked out of heaven

for too long ♪ ♪ for too long oh oh oh ♪ ♪ oh yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ you bring me to my knees you make me testify you can make a sinner change his ways ♪ ♪ open up your gates 'cause i can't wait to see the light and right there is where i wanna stay ♪ ♪ 'cause your sex takes me to paradise yeah your sex takes me to paradise ♪ ♪ and it shows ooh oh ooh oh ooh yeah yeah yeah ♪ ♪ 'cause you make me feel

like i've been locked out of heaven for too long ♪ ♪ ooh oh ooh oh ooh for too long ♪ ♪ ooh oh ooh oh ooh ♪ ♪ yeah you make me feel like i've been locked out of heaven for too long ♪ for too long ♪ ♪ ooh oh ooh oh ooh ♪ you've made me feel like i'm living in heaven you made me feel like i'm living in you made me feel like i'm living in you made me feel like